When I was told by my counselor that I had to stop drinking and enter rehab immediately, I clapped and sang “No, no, no” doing my best Amy Winehouse impression. No, Actually I said “I can’t go to rehab right now….my friends are planning a birthday party for me in a month” She told me that I would not be able to last 2 more weeks. I said “but I haven’t had a birthday party in forever” sniffle sniffle… boohoohoohoo… WAHHHH! Then I got to rehab and it was awful…”ugh, this is horrible” I thought. I didn’t want to go on if I couldn’t drink. How could I live without a drink? I would never have any fun ever ever again EVER! Things couldn’t be darker for me…..poor me… I was however lucky enough to get the only room with it’s own bathroom and walk-in closet (the most important things in rehab right?), AND I was lucky to have great roommates. Actually it turned out I met a lot of great people there.
My attitude started to change. When I realized the schedule of the day included 2 hours of free time to work-out, I thought “wow that’s pretty good”. It was sunny everyday. Exercising outside with some Army lads and Marines everyday made me really get into shape(try running laps carrying a big rock along with a ton of crunches and pull-ups-Hoorah). My counselor there turned out to be extremely helpful, and I started to feel different about things. I started feeling hope. I started to feel grateful to be in this rehab so I could get better. We went bowling a couple days, painted pottery one day, and even went to the beach one day. By golly I learned that it was actually possible to have fun with out drinking alcohol. I was grateful for what I learned in rehab. After relapsing, I was extremely grateful for a second chance to get it right.
Sometimes gratitude can well up in you to where you almost burst with peace and happiness. I am so grateful for the people that helped me, and above all my husband who has been so caring and patient with me. Being sober doesn’t fix everything in your life, but you will be less likely to make stupid decisions, and become a more strong, capable person then you would have ever thought. Today when something gets me down, I know I can walk away from the piece of “self pity” and go with the slice of “gratitude” each day. You can too.