What Do You See In The Mirror?

What do you see in the mirror? Over the years I used to get asked this question occasionally.  My answer was always “nothing” or some other negative comment.  Growing up in school and being bullied a lot, I had developed a loathing perspective of myself that carried with me into adulthood.  Sometimes confidence came to me briefly but the self-loathing always managed to come back again.  So a few weeks ago when I was asked “What do you see in the mirror?”  I again started to come up with some negative comment, but then I hesitated.  I decided that I wanted to look at my self differently.  My life flew before my eyes, and I answered “I see an over-comer.”  I decided I didn’t want to feel bad about myself anymore.  Why should I dislike myself?  I used to think if someone didn’t like me than something must be very wrong with me, and I shouldn’t like me either.  How stupid.  Why should I care how others view me?  I decide I won’t care anymore.
I decide to respect myself because looking back on my life I have overcome some big obstacles. I used to believe in that saying “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” But I find it not to be so true.  some adversities can leave you extremely weak mentally and physically.  In those times you have to take things very slow and be patient with yourself.  Don’t be afraid to ask for help, and if you are not getting the help you need, then look for it elsewhere.  If you’ve been knocked down, maybe you want to lay there a bit…or for a long bit to gather strength, instead of hopping up real fast to start again….but do eventually get up.  When I was in danger of losing my job due to alcohol addiction, I was so upset.  I love my job and the thought of losing it due to my alcoholism made me feel like I would be the biggest “loser”.  I thought I would not be able to go on.  However I know a lot of people suffering from alcoholism do end up losing their jobs and marriages.  A lot of them become sober and recover from it finding their successful path again. I believe with a well organized plan, you can recover from these sorts of devastating losses.  I always come back to the 4 keys I researched to make my own recovery.  Acceptance- of what has happened.  Motivation- to start again and make a plan.  Grit- the courage and tenacity to carry out your plan through painful or adverse circumstances.  Gratitude- there is always hope and things to be grateful for.
I am nearing my 2 and a half year sober date and am feeling pretty good.  If I can overcome 12 years of hard drinking then you can too.  Be good to yourself.  Manage yourself with patience and kindness.